Reflection on 4 months

Hi, sorry for being silent for so long, lot's to reflect on.

The journey of the last 4 months, in this my first Relay, has been a journey rich in incredible events, numerous memorable moments and heart warming stories. I've witnessed passion and compassion, unbridled giving of time and effort, all to do one thing, it simply boggles the mind. Our results were staggering.

When Pink Basevi-Charlesworth first recruited me to join Harmony of Hope, from the first team meeting, I never in my wildest imagination expected to be where I am 4 months later.

The Opening Celebrations, at the incredible build of BOSL Football stadium covering 4 SIMs, ~WoW~ I couldn't stop caming around that was an incredible build. I was awestruck. I knew, I was taking part in something fantastic,... but nothing in my wildest imagination could I foresee, what was to come in both the experiencing of Relay and the Relay experience.

Got super excited with Black and White Fashion Faire SIMs, now that was KEWL. I spent many hours wandering that place, felt like one was living in a black and white movie. Spent an afternoon sitting at a cafe chatting with friends, making new ones and of course the shopping! Think it was my most enchanting day during all of Relay.

But not to be out done, when the Fantasy Faire Oº°‘¨POOF¨‘°ºO itself into existence, I swear, it was a jaw dropper! (If you find mine, pls email it back!) Was about here, I realized I need a new computer, as my tired old beast here, just will not do. Spent a lot time here waiting for the "over set" display settings in Phoenix to rez, so I can truly see all the creative wonder. It was worth it. After the Fantasy Faire, I knew, we had some extremely creative people in Relay, but this was slick!!!

And it kept coming, I had a ball time warping back to the 60's at the Sock Hop and Carnival Fair at May Days. Been years since I've been to a fair! And here I was, going to a fair in SL.

As a Relay'er, I hosted parties, held at clubs I called home before RFL. To bring RFL awareness to my community of friends, and spread the word for Relay For Life. I attended as many of Harmony's events and other team events, as my RL would allow. Followed all the group notices and event notices. Even rez'd an event board in front of me for when I would Rez inworld, so it's the first thing I see when logging in. Pathetic, huh?

Then there was all the social media work I did; first for Harmony of Hope and a bit later when I was asked to join the PR/Marketing Committee. All the friends I made, blogging and tweeting, seeing all the good and incredible work 1,000s, and 1,000s of people are doing, around the world, and in my RL community, all in this fight. The support groups, non profit organizations and individuals and how they bring their passion to the plate, was something I wasn't quite prepared for. Knew it was there, just not the scope and I only know a fraction of it still.

Between that, and the "Why I Relay" statements and recordings that crossed my desk, I've cried. Throw in a speech from Tali Walmar at the opening ceremonies, or BOOTEDGIRL Foxtrot at the closing ceremonies, throw in several Mamap, Dwen and Stingray's words, all of the radio and streaming media people, and their interviewees of people in Relay along the way, I've cried buckets.

But I don't cry out of sorrow, well yes, partially sorrow, I guess? I cry 'Happy Tears' along with you. I cry because of the fortitude you all share, the "joy the vie" and willingness to shoulder on. I cry because it is truly remarkable, the hope we all put forth. It's like this unstoppable force of nature. Either get out of its way, or admire it for what it is and nourish yourself from it.

And then the big finally. The 24+ hour Relay. By this point I've heard 100's of people talk about the Relay in SL and I wasn't quite sure what to expect for my self, and suddenly there it was, 40 SIMs BIG! A Relay track that spanned 34 SIMs. Took me just under an hour to walk one lap.

Walked about 1-1/2 laps before Relay, 4 complete laps during Relay and started on, dozens more; but, you know how it goes,... get distracted by a shout from someone, a yellow dot in the radar and you just have to stop and see them to celebrate with them. Loved looking at the SL map and seeing all those dots, so kewl. I'd really like to see the numbers from LL on this Event.

When I did my last lap, just before closing ceremonies, I was noticing how many of the Luminaries were lit. I began to read them, one after another and that were I lost it. All along I “knew” all the while 'why' we all do this. But there it was right there at my feet when it hit me, endless reasons of 'why', covering SIM, after SIM, after SIM. All glowing with their unique brilliance, of the souls they represent,... and it was beautiful, yet so devastating. RFLofSL is a microcosm of RL and the millions around the world, this represents in every sense, was my tipping point. Everything that happens after this point was pure and total emotional overload.

And this is also where I go speechless, because I still do not have the words for what ‘all this means’ to me.

I know, I am not the same person I was 4 months ago. But beyond that, I do not know. Even my avatar having a bit of an identity crisis, having lost tail and hair until the start of RFLofSL 2012, for the honor of your brilliant dedication and accomplishment.

I do feel a bit of a loss with nothing to do. Sure that will pass, as I am taking a bit of leap of faith. I'm hoping to return to school this fall for a 2 year program in Advertising with a heavy slant on web presence. It was going to be more programming and stuff side of things, but after doing what I did in the last 4 months, I know were I belong.

I do have ideas for next year, I need to get it together, but I'm gonna wait, as I don't know how the off season goes,.. I'm probably just jumping the gun as always.

But still, I search my inner self, asking: "what "all of this" means"? Many questions, dam few answers at the moment, but the quest continues,...

I am so proud of all of you, WE DID GOOD!

HUGz Jennifer